A messy jigsaw: complaints about the editing process


After a month of editing, eating more than I would dare to admit, drinking multiple cups of tea/hot chocolate, and having a few meltdowns, I think it's safe to say that these first weeks in my publishing journey have been quite the challenge so far.

I am on my third edit of a manuscript that I thought was fairly decent until I thoroughly started looking at it. When I had been editing previously, with only myself as target audience in mind, I noticed little things. Big mistakes and certain typos that were caused by quickly typing something before it left my mind.

However, this time I was editing with a different mindset. I knew that I would publishing online every chapter I had edited. Ready for the eyes of other people, to be read and judged by others than myself.
Before I started my editing process, I had read a few guides on editing and publishing, etc. and one of them had even advised something in the likes of this.

The last trick of the trade I’ll share with you is courtesy of Dani Shapiro, the critically acclaimed author of Slow Motion and Devotion. [...] and shared an interesting technique she uses to help her understand when her book is finished.
Shapiro helped put things into context as she described the simple process of sending an email. When you’re composing the note, the words and thoughts express a certain position or point of view. Everything looks right and so you hit: Send.
Immediately after the electrons fly through the ether, you see it: that obvious typo. The one you looked right past 10 times as the author. But what really happened is that the minute you hit the send button you read the message as a completely different person – the recipient. 
This is the approach she takes when takes that last critical examination of her book. She actually reads the book as if she’s someone else. She’ll read chapters as if she’s a kindly caring person on one day. On another she reads it as an angry critical person. From the readings of these and other personas, Shapiro is satisfied that her diverse audience is ready to read her next book.
Source: The End - Now What?! 6 Steps To Take Your Manuscript To Marketplace In 6 weeks by Steven Spatz (President, BookBaby.com)  

That is exactly what happened to me. I started reading my book in the way someone else would read it. A reader who'd be reading it with a much more scrutinizing eye than I had so far. A person with high expectations. People looking for the perfect story. I realized that up until now I had mainly been occupied with making sure most of the grammar problems were out of the way. As a non-native speaker, I did not want that to be the only thing that influenced people's opinion. I needed to make sure that my writing was as correct as possible, so that people would take me more seriously.

Then I realized that II was so focused on the form that I had lost all focus on content.
Starting that third edit and reading it from a reader's perspective made me, in all honesty, panic a little. I noticed how much of a mess my current manuscript still is. All of a sudden, sentences seemed wrong. Conversations don't feel natural. Entire pieces of text feel like they're in the wrong place but neither do I know where I should place them instead or if I should even bother keeping them.

It's like I am sitting in front of a jigsaw puzzle with no idea how to fit the pieces together. 
I can't find those vital corner pieces, missing the guide through the entire puzzle.

Needless to say that for the first time I am finding myself in the deep core of an editing process and I am freaking out! I am desperately looking for those corner pieces and trying to piece back together the bigger picture.
In a way I am glad that I am doing this step of editing. That I'm putting it out there for others to read and to give feedback but it is incredibly scary. So, so, so scary.
Not only is it the first time my story is being read by someone other than me but it's also being judged by others and I think many people will agree with me when I say that there's nothing scarier than having your little creation judged by other people.

Even if it needs to happen. 
Even if it's exactly what might make it less of a mess.
That doesn't mean that I no longer let out a shuddering breath whenever I press that 'submit' button on Jukepop or start to panic when I get a new e-mail notifying me about a new review or comment.

I don't regret taking the decision to share my story so early in its process. I think that in my case it's exactly what I need: getting advice from people with experience, getting feedback about things I wouldn't think about because my focus was more directed towards something else. It can only benefit me.
Right now is the moment for me to make changes, adapt, revise, edit and start all over. To make it the best product I can offer before sending it to professionals for even more editing.

It's a long and hard process but it will be worth it in the end.
It always is when you finally solve that puzzle. Before you put it back in the box, that is :)





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